Love, Trust, and Sex Work

Mr Lenore and I are no longer together. Our separation was not kink related or due to any issues within that dynamic. I believe this interview may still hold value for some. Take from it what you will.

In this revealing interview, Mistress Lenore sits down with her partner to discuss their unique relationship dynamic within the world of sex work. As a successful Mistress, Lenore's career brings both challenges and opportunities that require a deep level of trust, communication, and boundary setting.

Her partner takes the lead in this conversation, asking insightful questions about how they balance their relationship with Lenore's professional life, how they navigate intimacy, and what keeps their bond strong. This article provides a rare, honest look into the complexities of love and trust in a partnership involving sex work.

"Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation" - Oscar Wilde

What first drew you to BDSM, and how did you know it was something you wanted to pursue professionally?

When I first entered this industry, it was purely for survival. I never pictured myself here, You know I was thrown into adulthood, with a house, bills, and responsibilities I'd never had to handle before and without any guidance or support so I guess I found my crutch in this work.

I started camming on a very vanilla basis, purely as a way to make ends meet. I honestly didn't have a clue about what I was doing. It's surreal to look back and remember that, the naïve and young woman that I was, how urgently desperate I was too.

During that time, I stumbled upon Femdom and Fetish work, and it immediately caught my attention. When I was 19 I had an ex of mine was into BDSM so I had come across it before but I was completely opposed to it at the time, it seemed so strange and even a little unsettling to me, mostly because I didn't understand it at all. It wasn't until a few years later, when I came across it on my own, that I started to really look into it for myself.

The Camming? Let's just say it wasn't my favourite! It felt like I had to... I don't know, shrink myself? Keep my mouth shut, smile, be pretty, and just take the neverending shit from disrespectful men for the sake of income. The behaviour of some of them wasn't consensual and rather derogatory, It literally made my skin crawl!

I've always been someone who hates being told what to do, so the whole experience was just... I don't know...suffocating. But then, I discovered this whole other part of what I was doing and realised I was in the wrong lane. I stumbled on this territory where I could be myself, on my own terms, where I could actually take back control and still earn. That was the game-changer really.

Again it just started as just a temporary thing, a way to get by. But then I fell down the rabbit hole, and suddenly, it became everything to me as you know. It just felt... right. The more I explored, the more I loved it. It's crazy how much it's actually shaped me and my life. It's given me so much more than just money and material things, It's given me a sense of purpose, a community, and an alternative way of seeing the world.

Even at times when I've tried to leave the industry to pursue other things, I'm drawn back in after a little while. I make all these efforts to rid myself of that part of me, just like many subs do after sessions, but I can't, my life becomes meaningless in a sense of ambition, motivation and purpose...I become half the person I am, self-worth drops along with self-care, interest in sex, all of it. It's taken my "leaving forever" to happen a fair few times for me to realise that this is just what I do, what I love, what I'm good at.

How does your work fulfil you on a personal level?

My mind never stops! I'm one of those people who's always got a project brewing, who can't sit still or rest. Could be anything really... Art, photography, writing, music, business projects, you name it. I've just always got this urge to create, to experiment, to put myself out there. Turns out my life IS the rabbit hole. My work lets me do and continue to learn about all the things I love, and it fuses together most of the skills and interests I have acquired throughout my life already.

Having my own business means I have never-ending control over my life, so I can really escape into all the creative impulses I have, and no longer worry about income so much. It's incredibly liberating, and honestly, it's the perfect way to express myself and hopefully inspire others along the way in some way shape or form.

What do you love most about being a Mistress?

What's not to love?
I Wake up when I want, work when I want, wear what I want. earn what and when I want... It's that freedom I love the most! But honestly? The best part is actually helping people. I know that might surprise some, but it's true.

I love opening doors for people, showing them a world they might not have known existed, helping them discover parts of themselves they never knew were there. Over the years, I've helped people with their mental well-being, helped save marriages, and given people a safe space to be themselves, fully and authentically. It's incredibly rewarding.

And yeah, there's escapism too, both for me in a creative way and for the people I connect with. It's like this amazing outlet or space where I can be adventurous and have fun with my "art" whilst having a real impact on people's lives. It's pretty powerful stuff.

How do you find a balance between me and your work, especially when your work involves intimacy with others?

Well, I feel I'm very clear about the boundaries I set during my sessions, and intimacy isn't a big factor for me at all in that regard. I do provide forms of intimacy, as you know, through aftercare and CFNM Worship.

Occasionally, I offer activities like thigh hugging or clothed face sitting and I also enable things like foot worship to take place, but anything involving sexual or emotional intimacy is absolutely off the table. That's been the case whether we're together or not.

I have firm boundaries in place for myself when it comes to work, and those boundaries are very important to me. It's a bit different with Camming or phone calls of course, and I'm always transparent about that as well. You've seen me work and performed with me on cam, so you know what I'm about and how I approach it, you've seen what it's like from my perspective.

I believe we have a great balance between both worlds. I make it a point to communicate with you about my work, with everything really, and I always set aside time for us.

There have been times last minute sessions have come in and been turned down because it's our time which is most important to me. There's been times when we have been watching a movie or spending time together, and you've recommended I turn my phone lines ON, and that feels so supportive for me, hot and supportive!. You're observant and aren't just thinking about us, but you think about my business too.

There are times when you help me with work, and I love that openness and the willingness to explore in you. I love the shift in dynamics when we work together, who you are with and for Lenore, especially your attention to detail when you're assisting me with something.

What role do you think trust plays in our relationship, given the nature of what you do?

Trust is everything, regardless of career choice. To me, without trust, there's no relationship.

My work only adds another layer of trust, and if anything, I feel it strengthens our bond. It requires more trust than I would say most vanilla dynamics do, which only makes us a stronger couple in my eyes. I really enjoy being able to talk to you about everything, knowing I can communicate without fear of walking on eggshells or hiding any part of myself.

I appreciate how you engage in our conversations too, not just nodding along, one-sided, but truly getting involved. That leads to deeper, more meaningful discussions between us. We have a mutual understanding and respect as well.

How does practicing BDSM professionally influence or enhance our relationship?

When I hear about the relationships of some of the clients I work with, it makes me incredibly grateful for what we have. Our openness, trust, bond, and that vibe we have of fun over stress... it's something I truly cherish. There are clients who share deeply personal details with me that their partners would never know, and while I appreciate their honesty, I wish we lived in a world where they didn't have to hide those parts of themselves.

Sex and intimacy with you is just that - sex and intimacy, and everything that comes with it. We share a deeper sensual connection, alongside playful dynamics and hard fucks. Our intimacy is sacred and completely separate from my work or who I am at work. When I'm with you, I'm not Lenore, though there are moments when I might bring her into our personal life, just for fun. But, at the end of the day, I'm human, and I have needs outside of work and BDSM.

I do think me doing what I do has created an opportunity for you in your own personal explorations and experiences. My openness, along with my knowledge has encouraged you to explore anything you've encountered or will encounter in the future that you're curious about. It's opened doors for what we both experience as a couple and what we might experience in the future.

How can other partners of sex workers offer their support?

It's hard to say, as everyone has different relationship dynamics, boundaries, and needs. But I truly believe that with trust, openness, and communication, you can accomplish anything together! To me, it's really that simple.

Anything can be worked out or navigated if those three things are in place and both people are willing to consider each other's perspectives. Being non-defensive and self-aware makes all the difference too.

Practically speaking, it's the thoughtful things you do that make all the difference. You bring me drinks and leave them outside the door while I'm camming, check in on how I'm doing mentally and physically, and handle travel arrangements and weather updates if I need to be somewhere. You're independent enough to keep yourself entertained while I work, and you help with housework without me having to ask. You're always observant, noticing things I might need or things that could make my day easier. It's not done in a submissive way either, it's just genuinely thoughtful, observant and considerate. It allows me to focus on work without worrying about a million other things.

Are there things you wish more people understood about being in a relationship with a sex worker?

I'm really curious to hear your perspective on this some time. From my point of view, the biggest thing I want to emphasise is that we're just regular people, doing a job, paying taxes, and contributing to society like anyone else. We're not 'whores'... in fact, we're probably among the most health-conscious and self-aware individuals. There are so many misconceptions about this work that we could discuss them for days, but I'm especially interested in your take on this. You entered this relationship aware of the stereotypes, yet you chose to embrace it. Now that you've experienced the reality first-hand, I'd love to hear what you've found to be completely untrue and I'm sure there are many readers who would too!